A new experience

Today, was a new experience well kind of. Today we were treated by our boss to a massage, a much need foot and body massage.

It was very nice of him to treat 3 of us to it. It must mean he truly appreciates us as employees.

Well I didn't want a foot massage because of my past and I'm always so scared of anyone going near my feet. The surprise itself, filled me with so much anxiety. It was so stressful and overwhelming, almost how much it felt to speak in the public back in the day. 

It truly felt like a small violation at first but it was relaxing. I really needed it but the whole time they were touching my feet i was crying, I couldn't help it. The guy that was going give me the massage started on me late and when he got me it felt like he complained which automatically made me feel tense. The vibe at first wasn't good and I wasn't enjoying it. I kept still and wasn't moving bur my eyes were opened. I was tense and relaxed all at once. I was trying to go to another place but it wasn't working, and as much as the music was so relaxing it started getting very depressing. I'm an emotional person so I'm affected deeply by music.

While I was trying to my other place, all I kept thinking about was the last time y mom gave me a massage and how much I missed her. It was a little hard. I couldn't believe how depressed I suddenly felt. My mom was the only that had given me a massage.  It was so differently, so invasive.

Don't get me wrong ended up loving it because I really needed a massage my babe haven't been wanting to. I had so much stressed accumulated from the last couple years. It so sad how fast time flies. I hate the thought of it. There's no time for anything and time.is just slipping through our fingers.

Well, just needed this off my chest. *sigh of relief*

A few more days in Vegas, Rio. .. the gift show is a little slow right now.  We truly hope it picks up. :)