trantrum

I feel so childish throwing this tantrum... I just wanna scream... I can't stop crying... and it's not because I'm sad. It's more I am very disapointed for bringing my hopes ups. I just needed an out and I thought I was finally going to get it. But, apparently not... Currently, I'm very short... I don't even feel like talking eating... everything just leads to more crying... hence my tantrum... I wanna scream for not getting my way. It's like the most I keep the intensity accumulating inside me the most I get a headache the more... it hurts inside... physically. It feels as thought somethings wants to jump out of me... I am so mad at me. I'm stupid and dumb for even thinking it was a possibility. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok that was a good cyber scream. I'm still not happy currently... I need my escape and I don't ever see it coming. It being last minute was the only way it felt it was going to happen. the only way I would be able to leave without telling anyone. The only way to escape. Why do I feel so stressed, so trapped... I'm crying like a baby and it doesn't make sense. Ok I feel a lil better now...