Love

Love

 

I mean serious look at us. Sure, I may seem a little biased. I know at first when people asked I would never really honestly say where we did meet. But as we progress more in this journey in life getting to know each other more and finding stuff about our selves and each other. I'm a bit more able to be honest. 

You see this writing I'm doing here? Well some consider that a form of blogging. I know I'm treating you stupid and I'm teasing. We met blogging. I actually remember  why I subscribed to his page. How many people can actually pin point how they first took interest even though it wasn't attraction interested. 

It was the same words but different picture. Who knew subscribing to someone would lead to chatting online, well don't get me wrong. I talked to many people but most just for talking, to meeting to a relationship... I wasn't really close to many but a couple and there was one person who I was semi interested in but my Cucumber_melonhead was the one who I ended up needing and who needed me. I think (and this is him telling me) that we chatted online because I posted a "Pulse" on XANGA  (which was where we met) which said I was bored. He saw me 'on' the chat and started talking me. We talked quite a bit. Never thought much of it, I wasn't quite interested in people much, until he gave me his number and he was posting stuff about having a crush. I am not a person who allows many people in. But, lucky him haha or lucky me, I let him in. Sometimes I'm still surprised.  Not, because I don't love him but people when I feel a little neglected or sad, it's just easier to push people out fast. It's been so easy not to let people into my life.

Sometimes, and this is my insecurity talking but I wonder if it's true. And I shouldn't question because he demonstrates it by driving 80 miles a week to see me.Spends time with the family he helps my son and I, he cooks... Maybe it's because I see how so many people are so thoughtful with their significant others. I'm being selfish. I don't want anything I have it all and more than enough. I guess we all complain and it's not right.

This selfless man fell in love with me. He loves my son. He does everything in power to be awesome. He helps me cook, we go to mass together every sunday. He's converting to Catholicism. What person does this? well a person who loves another person right? He's actually met all my family that's available by now. He's learning to speak spanish and he can make awesome enchiladas. There's nothing about him that can be a deal breaker well unless he cheats, or deceives me in a way in which I feel I can't trust him again.

I'm starting to sometimes feel a little jealous. I try not to let those emotions get the best of me. It makes me feel guilty people who know there are people who have many friends that are girls. Friends always come first but sometimes, you know....

I think I'm just being a little crazy. 

If he wasn't the right type of person  my son would have outed him out and my son absolutely loves him. So he's definitely doing awesome with us. I'm actually surprised he hasn't ran out with the craziness. I'm not "crazy" crazy but sometimes a little nutty!  Then again who isn't. I'm very aware and I think that sometimes is not good because i think too much before reacting and I don't say very much of what I feel. And if I do I feel guilt. Talk about bad but good in a sense.

I think I was every where than what I intended but oh well!